Photo by Ahmed
I tend to have phases where I develop mild obsessions with buying a new camera. The cycle is the same: read and watch reviews, look for deals, don’t buy, ease up for six months, then repeat. This pattern has occurred countless times, and has given me enough data to look in the mirror and say “Your camera is not the problem, you are…”
I’m currently rocking the Fujifilm X-T3 – it’s almost 10 years since its release date. Fujifilm is currently on the X-T5, and there are valid rumors the announcement of the X-T6 isn’t too far away. There’s also the Nikon ZF that’s constantly on my radar, and the wishful fantasy of perhaps owning a Leica Q3 one day.
At times, my X-T3 feels inferior to other options. “How can I call myself a proper photographer if I don’t have the latest gear?” an absurd but genuine question I ask myself.
When I look at the data and analyze what pushes the urge to buy new gear, there’s one common denominator. It’s not a wave of Google Ads, nor is it because the YouTube algorithm recommends gear reviews. The truth is, it’s very little to do with external forces, rather coming from within.
I pine for a new camera when I doubt my ability to create strong photographs.
Self doubt is nothing new. In the almost 13 years I’ve been involved with the industry I’ve had plenty of creative ruts and instances of a lack of self belief. As common as they can be, they’re not pleasant, and sometimes it’s easy to plaster the wound rather than face it straight on.
During these times my brain, looking for comfort, tricks itself that a new camera will get that creative flair back. That’s not true. You can give a person the greatest tools on the planet, but if they’re not confident they can use them, those tools are as redundant as old, worn ones from yesteryear.
Thankfully, something changed in recent months. After a four-year health battle, in which I had to drastically reduce my workload, I’ve begun booking portrait sessions again. Being in creative environments, crafting different projects and getting that little burst of dopamine when your subject says “I love them,” are putting any desire for new gear on the backburner.
Looking at my X-T3, I can still see everything it can give me. I believe it again, or in actual fact I once again believe in me.
Throughout your photography journey, I’m happy to bet you’ll go through at least one moment of self doubt, if you’re lucky. And in those moments you may be tempted to throw cash at the wall in the hope something shiny and new can restore your ability to make good images.
I recommend slowing down in such times. Focus on creating a new project, do something that’s out of your comfort zone and allow self doubt to pass. It will be much more beneficial to your sense of self worth, your belief in your skills, and to your wallet.
More reading: Cheap Third-Party Lenses Are Not What You Think
